I’ve decided to throw my tiara in the ring with all the other horses out there jockeying for a presidential nomination. Why the hell not? Half the cars I see out there have bumper stickers that support “Any Reasonable Adult in 2020.”
Well, I’m a reasonable adult. Mostly. (Except when it comes to cooking, standards, and hobbies.) Also, I’m going to lobby for a constitutional monarchy. Americans absolutely swoon over royalty. Well, half of my family was practically royalty in their city. Wealthy landowners with tenant farmers, marriages arranged to conveniently keep the money among the rich people, multiple generations sitting on top of what was essentially a feudal society almost to the middle of the 20th century – yup.
At least, that was before the Communists showed up, chaos reigned, and the whole notion of property rights and individual liberties went out the window. Okay, maybe the rich people had more individual liberties than the poor. You show me a successful society where that isn’t the case? Anyway, it isn’t actually that the rich people have more individual liberties – they just have more money to show off the fact that they can afford liberties the rest of us can only aspire to through hard work.
So, yeah, I’m basically a princess.
(Royalty box: check.)
So: I want you to vote me into the highest office of the land. We’ll adjust the form of government to a constitutional monarchy, and I want to be Queen.